Took this photo before I headed out tonight. Not sure why its blurry though. The camera was on a stand. (Photo taken 12th April 2014)
There seems to be quite a few of these coming up of late. I think its time I tried to find one I can wear just for these sorts of occasions. People have suggested to me Nurse or Doctor, but in all honesty, Medical fetish is actually a hard limit for me. I hate hospitals, seeing GPs etc… the last thing I want is to dress like I work in one….
I have found that my up and down moods may be simply caused by the severe lack of kink in my life. I can upload images which often gives you an idea of what I am thinking, needing, desiring etc… I know I need to often make the first move on a Domme but in all honesty, I haven’t found anyone I feel would be suitable to what I am after. I also don’t believe this individual is an active player in the local scene. That adds to the challenge.
So why not attend more events, workshops etc.. I hear you say? Cost! I can’t afford it. Also the simple fact that a lot of the workshops are on things that simply do not interest me. Many of the specific type of events are things that I have no interest in at all. It seems most of what ticks my boxes are things I see on sites like Dark Fetish Net, Gromets Plaza and the occasional Domme on Collar Me (The fake profiles on this site are easy to spot).
I have had some play in the last few months, granted, and I am grateful for the opportunity that has been offered to me. But I crave something more and it would probably shock or freak some people out what lines I am thinking along.
I find myself wanting to be controlled in my life with a lady who I have a relationship with. I seek a woman who will allow me to give myself freely to her in every way she desires and craves in return for her love care and control.
I wish to be consumed in her desire, allowing her to totally possess me, drawing me to her until I belong to her and obey her without question.
In public, I like to be able to accompany her to social events and appear very respectable and “normal” while in reality we will be anything but. If she so chooses I will dress, speak and talk as commanded. My primary role is to please her, be her slut, whore, slave etc… I anticipate needing to be taught and educated in what she desires and likes. Giving myself to her completely, body, mind and soul. Consumed into her life and in time love her with all my heart.
This may sound a bit extreme to some of you who know me, but its what is aching in my heart to find.
Yes, I do the venues, events in a very carefree like attitude. I wear what I want, I look out for friends and make sure they are ok, even my new ones. But every day, I ache… I struggle with self discipline, I struggle to focus on some things… My mind wonders, even when I at my Uni class, on a break I will check my kink sites. I wake up in the morning and the very first thing I check is my emails and kink sites for comments on my pics, any messages.
Would I consider a male Dom? I never rule it out, but they would have to be super special (and probably married). But in the end, its a lady I seek who is unique (and there is probably only 10 in the whole world).
This is probably a bit of a ramble, but I needed to get it off my chest…